A new person was in the coach of the train I was traveling in. Well she is a jolly, funny and a really lovely person. A adorable woman. The point is I didn’t even realise the part that she is already sitting in the same coach. Well I’m not talking about a actual train just a connecting metaphor for life. So I met her a number of times and it took the conversation to a separate level. It’s rare to meet such a trusting and friendly person. Well it’s been quite sometime now. We started talking, talking about serious stuff. Talks became regular. We crossed a number of difficult stations together (other people were along) Then suddenly a abnormality was discovered, something that is at an emotional level. An abnormality that she has. She opens up to a point you never expected. You look at the smile and that there is something that is not letting her to be natural. It just got started and One of my mistakes were being pointed out and I had asked a little details about her to cover up mine. Then came the flow of it. I somehow was shooting in the darkest hour of a day yet it was perfectly pointed out. It’s not that I’m proud of it but just I was happy that I knew her already so well.
Question and answer were being shot at each other to a point we got tired . The ultimate thing was asked by her, “ How and why did you come close to me”. It was one of the rarest moments apart from me answering viva questions that I didn’t have any answer. I thought for some while and yet I couldn’t get any information from my backdating. The silence of the night without any answers had taken us to sleep.
Next morning everything in the world was same apart from 2 things me looking at her and her look at me. It was almost that I could talk with her without talking. She was happy , the happiness that she couldn’t reveal , the happiness that was from part opening up. Somehow that happiness lifted my spirits and helped to be happy.
One thing I learned that day is YOU could be a reason for happiness for someone. Don’t try to find him/her it might be someone next to you or someone you have known for long or short period of time. Is it something weird ? Is it friendship ? Is it what , No idea whatever it is , it’s amazing and I loved it.
Ever thought what goes behind each person’s mind. How do they think . What they have been through. What could have possibly gone wrong. What could be extraordinarily good etc etc etc.
It’s stories , stories with numerous permutation and combination of problem and solutions. My life has a separate story altogether. It seemed that I have been through a lot of scary stuff. It’s only a drop in the ocean. Life takes different turns at almost every second it just needs to be realized. Every sorry ,every thank you, every mistake ,every solution takes you to a different door. I haven’t met so many people to do an analysis but all this comes out straight from the heart. Never mind my life is a separate story altogether and this very statement tells how less we know about life.
The strongest have fallen and weakest have grown strong.
Somewhere between the first breath and the last we mess it up. We judge even ourselves when it comes to affection and love. If I’m good for him/her , if things would work out. What will he/ she think. That’s like working with too many variables which is “variable”. Nothing is in your hand .We fail to realize that every person every human has some history behind to make them the way they are. We get stuck with the history or the “result of the history” of the person. If we are to take people as if “it’s there job” or “useless person” etc or as we judge each other than we are being machines with brains who don’t have emotions. He/She might have something like what we faced in our history . Who knows how things hold up in future let’s make the life which we enjoy and love. Continue reading “The Story behind LIFE”
It was little difficult for me to accept it. I didn’t believe it. It pains everytime I say it.
Well it’s the ego at play.
There wasn’t probably anything left to compare you, freaking mountains , moon, drug , virus etc etc. Yes all of them are damm difficult to have. Trust me you were nothing difficult too. It’s not that I have you now but it’s probably the time I will have to leave difficult things in my life. Which indirectly means you. What possibly could I do more. You know what is the problem with a man , so much trying ?
It’s the ego , right the ego that is always at fight with the heart and convincing the ego that it is the right thing to do. Do you know ….
What happens when you convince your dad about your choice and it turns out that the choice is wrong, you start listening to your dad. Yeah! ego plays dad here. Yes and its very difficult to get over the virus or drug ( you) but the ego silently says it’s over even before it could start. I don’t hate you , it’s not that I can’t tolerate you it’s just that you are little too much for me.
Even if I let you go and my heart cries to say goodbye but ego knows it’s for the best.
I still want your city , want your town want you at times for dinners, movies but let’s face it for how long I’m gonna keep the demands.
Yes I can somewhat say I have somewhat moved on . Though How much I have no freaking idea.
Everytime you text me it’s a mild adrenaline rush, a excited mind wants to reply yet the ego plays the dad role and writes taunts hoping for the last try which never succeeds.
Everytime I check your Facebook pics or status it just brings in the ego the attitude as if I don’t care.
Well that’s the ego saying I REALLY DON’T CARE, and the heart yelling just ask me once for help I WOULD RUN TO YOU.